Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Bridezillas: Why a large, town-eating, growling monster would be more pleasing to deal with...

...Afterall, at least the monster just eats you and calls it good.

Ever seen that episode of "Cake Boss" on TLC where the bride comes into Buddy's bakery and destroys the wedding cake he made because it was "too elegant"?  That's never happened to me, but scary actually does happen outside of the reality TV realm.  Brides are really like that.  I have heard of brides knocking their cake off the table because they didn't like it.  Throwing out food in front of a caterer because it wasn't what they wanted.  Ripping pictures done by a photographer for whatever reason.  It's insane.  Some of these brides calm down a few hours later and are just embarrassed, others just keep with the behavior.  Though it sucks to deal with them, I usually pity the poor groom in that situation.  Good luck Chuck.

Bridezillas will never be satisfied.  They will pick and find just about any little thing they hate about your cake, service, work, etc.  These are the worst clients to have, but in the wedding business you are going to encounter HUNDREDS of these.  Yup, sorry, it's true.  All I can say is invest in Excedrin and tough skin.  Now this blog is not out there to offend anyone, however if you were a Bridezilla and you are offended...well, it sucks when your pointed out.  I'm not apologizing for it. 

My Theory on Them:
I honestly think (and this is just in my experience) Bridezillas primarily exist for two reasons:  One, they are raised spoiled (no offense) and two, they are usually planning a wedding on an EXTREMELY tight schedule.  In Utah I would say 98% of the brides I meet are planning a wedding only three months out.  THREE MONTHS!?  That is 90 days to meet, plan, purchase, finalize flowers, invitations, reception halls, food, cakes, dresses, licenses, churches, linens, nail appointments, whatever....that's pure insanity.  No wonder these chicks are freaking out.  I started to sweat just typing about a 1/4 of the duties they have to do just now.  Half the time they meet with EVERYONE of those companies in the same month.  These brides not only tend to forget what the heck they ordered (it all blends), but then are usually the ones freaking out at the wedding.  Majority of them apologize after the wedding realizing that is what they ordered.  Damage already done though.  They freaked out, bitched at the wedding, slandered your company that you "ruined" their wedding when all along...they got what they ordered.  Do they go back and say "Hey everyone, I was wrong!".  Hell no.  Thus, why everyone in the business dreads, avoids, and kicks themselves in the @$$ for ever dealing with Bridezillas.

How Do You Deal?
Well I wasn't kidding about tough skin and Excedrin.  Majority of these Bridezillas DO apologize, however a larger majority dont.  Not because they felt they were in the right for freaking out on you...its because they are embarrassed about how they behaved.  I have had Mothers of the Bride and Fathers of the Bride call me the next day apologizing for their daughters behavior and state that the cake was great and that it was what THEY PAID FOR and that their daughter was having a "bad day" kidding.  You just have to smile through these people.  If you know you delivered the cake that the bride ordered, that's the bottom line.  Yes it sucks if they bash you and you lose business, but that's the biz.  You can't fight it.  You just know that you did it right and leave it at that. If they call, you speak calmly to them.  Explain where they were wrong (as kindly as possible), and even show them contracts, orders, etc to show them where THEY WERE WRONG. 

In the wedding business, ALWAYS keep detailed notes.  Dates/times you spoke, orders placed, sketches and examples, swatches, etc (this helps because as I said, brides forget what they ordered).  If someone says "go with your own direction", make them sign a contract stating THEY AGREE WITH THAT.  So if they hate what you delivered, you legally know you did what they asked.  You can't do anything to stop them from telling everyone they hated it.  People will usually bitch more to the public when they know they are wrong just to make themselves feel better (read my post on Bad Press).   That's just basic psychology.  The average person will never admit their wrong to the general public.  It's easier to play the victim/blame another then stand up and say they were wrong.  We all know we've done it.

Bridezillas are everywhere.  Whether it be on their very own TV show (TLC), in your business, a friend of yours, your own child, or just some bride at a wedding you are attending.  Some people you can peg as Bridezillas from just your consultation meeting, others seem so far from one that you are ten times more shocked when they turn out to be one at the reception.  That's why I say plan on EVERY bride being one, and be thankful they turn out to be chill in the end. 

Don't let them get you down either.  They tend to yell at every vendor there, not just you.  They will not always apologize either.  If you know you did it right, just pat yourself on the back and walk away pitying the poor groom stuck with that chick for the rest of their lives.

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